Pe Ell Man Accused of Maintaining Eye Contact While Eating Banana -- Now Deeply Regrets Decision

Local | 2025/04/12

PE ELL, WA - What started as a harmless afternoon snack has turned into a small-town scandal after local resident Gary "Banana Eyes" Thompson made the unsettling choice to maintain full, unbroken eye contact while eating a banana at the Pe Ell gas station. Witnesses describe the incident as "deeply haunting" and "a moment forever burned into memory." The bold eye-contact move, lasting an estimated 14 seconds, has since sparked heated debate across town Facebook groups.

"I don't know what possessed me," Thompson said in a tearful interview. "Maybe I was trying to establish dominance… maybe I thought it would be funny… but the second I locked eyes with Dave from the feed store while taking that first bite, I knew I had made a terrible mistake." Dave reportedly dropped his iced coffee and whispered, "Not like this..." before leaving the scene.

Thompson says he’s now facing social exile, banned from multiple local establishments, including "The Pub", and unofficially dubbed "Banana Eyes" by Pe Ell youth. "I just want to go back to being the guy who quietly buys propane tanks and scratch tickets," he said. He’s currently seeking counseling and considering switching to less threatening fruits like grapes or pre-sliced apples. "No more bananas," he added. "Not here. Not in Pe Ell."

-Harry Snutts

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